August 30, 2019

We go on with our days
Slower now, more mindful,
Yet in a numbness as though nothing really happened.

And then I’ll look over at him, asleep in the afternoon.
He’s tired in a way he never was before because he’s healing,
And I realize we’re not the same.

And I remember—as though I could ever truly forget for a second—I almost lost him forever only three short weeks ago
And the pain and tears catch in my heart, my throat, my weary body
And as I feel the sadness and fear, I gain strength to continue on
To not let this hit in the heart stop me for one moment.
Determined to live and enjoy even as I balance the cascading stew of emotions rising and changing—anxiety, anger, sadness, fear, dread, exhaustion, gratitude, love.

And as is always true, in the end, it’s always about love.