In the early 1970s, I read P.S. Your Cat Is Dead, a novel by James Kirkwood, Jr. This is what I remember: A man, who has had a horrible day, including being dumped by his girlfriend on New Year’s Eve, comes home to find a burglar in his home. He reacts with fury, attacks the burglar, and ties him to a table. Then, as if the man’s day hadn’t been bad enough, the burglar tells him that his cat is dead.
So why am I starting with this story? Well, our friends and those following my blog know that my husband Bob and I have had some physical challenges the past few years, including Bob’s near brush with death three times. Last I wrote, I struggled with eye issues while Bob was dealing with a painful back. My eyes are another story, not worthy of comment. You’ll understand why as you continue reading.
First, the good news: Bob’s back surgery was a success. That was early July.
The rest of the story is told in cliff notes because some of it is too private to share. Bob had his surgery on Tuesday, July the 5th, and was sent home two days later. The following two days were hellish, and by Saturday, I had to call 9-1-1. In the ER, they drained massive amounts of fluid that had built up in his body. He was then admitted to the hospital and stayed there for the next three days. Although not well when released, he was no longer swollen like a pregnant woman at the end of her ninth month. Again, I will not go into details about what he endured and what I witnessed over the next few weeks.
Fast forward two months and numerous doctor’s appointments (primarily online), scans, and tests later. And this is where P.S. Your Cat Is Dead comes into play because it’s about someone having awful, and then, oh, by the way, there’s more.
To the shock of his doctors, a recent CT scan, followed up by an MRI, revealed Bob has a PVT, which stands for Portal Vein Thrombosis in his liver. We were told to get to the Emergency Room, so we stopped everything we were doing and left the house. Bob had another CT and more blood drawn. For hours, we sat wondering if Bob would be admitted. We welcomed the news that we could leave and were all smiles of relief as we drove home.
Numerous specialists (liver, hematology, gastroenterology, urology, neurology) consulted with each other. Bob had more scans and so many blood tests I’m surprised he has any blood left. Finally, Bob was cleared to take Eliquis, a state-of-the-art blood thinner.
Yesterday, we met Bob’s liver specialist in person and got the shocking news that Bob doesn’t just have one blood clot in his liver—he has numerous blood clots. I teased him that this was not the time for him to be an overachiever. One clot would have more than sufficed.
What does this mean? We’re not sure. Reviewing information on PVTs shows that, while treatable, they are potentially lethal. Bob could die.
Of course, that’s not what we’re focusing on. We focus on being well and enjoying our days. But this can’t stop what’s in the back of our minds. Bob has a serious condition that could kill him. We’d be foolish not to acknowledge this reality. We’d be foolish not to do everything we can, including learning enough to ask the doctors important questions. After the doctor told us about the multiple clots, I asked him to tell us any symptoms we should look for that would tell us the clot is moving.
I’m focusing here only on the blood clot, but Bob has other unpleasant medical challenges, which I feel are too personal to write about.
We are in precarious territory, and no happy or positive thoughts will change that. His blood clot doesn’t care if we’re positive.
What does matter is that eyes wide open, we continue to do everything to dissolve the clots, keep them from moving, and help the doctors help us. What matters is that we stay as healthy as we can by eating well and exercising. What matters is that we find ways to enjoy every day despite walking on this tightrope of we’re here now and we don’t know for how long.
What matters is saying I love you and meaning it.
Thank you for sharing!
So sorry for all of your challenges. You are in my constant thoughts as I send you both my love, and I mean it!
❤️❤️
Keeping you and Bob in my prayers as you navigate this difficult and also meaningful journey, Ginni. Sending much love your way. Keep these words coming. They are healing reminders for us all to focus on the gift of each day with those we love.
Donna Stoneham
Thank you, Donna. I’m delighted you recognized the truth behind why I share our story.
Dear Ginni & Bob,
We know these last nearly 3 months are not even the whole story. So many tests/scans/drs/appts/concerns and moments of shaking your head to the next news flash. Enough already. We wish for you some GOOD news. We wish for you a break. You have both been through so much…leaning on one another while shoring up whoever needs it most. We love you…you know that. We wish things were different. This point in our lives magnifies the fragility of life. But no matter our age, a moment can change everything. “What matters is that we find ways to enjoy every day.” Amen. We love you.❤️❤️
Oh Ginny.
I am so sorry to hear what you & Bob are going through. You’re ability to articulate the challenge, acknowledge the unknown and yet look for the positive is remarkable. The way the two of you are there for each other….the way you have been there for many of us, is a blessing. I will hold you both up in my thoughts & prayers. Please give Bob a big hug from us. (Don’t squeeze too hard!)
I’ve never known anyone to have gone thru more heartache & challenges than Bob. He always comes out the winner because of his big heart, his attitude, his strength……and because he has you.
Love you so much.
Dear Ginni,
I am so very sorry for both you and Bob. I know you have faced horrific challenges and this…this is beyond awful. Thank you so much for sharing this so authentically. What you did here is you give permission for us all to open ourselves up and share with one another. I really loved that you said the clot is not going to care if you are happy but you need to have “eyes wide open and do everything you can to dissolve it.” Yours and Bobs attitudes are to be admired. Warriors in the face of challenge. You are facing this head on. That does not mean you are dismissing what is in the back of the mind, but you have a beautiful ability to focus on the support, what needs to be done and the love to be shared between you both.
Beautiful article. Thank you for sharing this. I send you and Bob all of my strength, well wishes and love as you learn to move through this next part of life.
Thank you, Chellie. Like Donna, you saw behind the reason I post about what we’re doing through. Thank you for your thoughts and love
Thanks for the reminder to live life to the fullest. YOU ARE AMAZING!
Thanks, Tori
Sending you and Bob major love.
Thank you, sweetie.
Oh Ginni, what a terrible ordeal! But thank goodness you have each other, as well
As very capable doctors from the sound of it. I am sending thoughts of good health and healing to you both, and fingers crossed, all will remain stable!! Missing you in the desert…Linda
Thanks, Linda. I appreciate your thoughts and good wishes. We had hoped to visit the desert, then life had other plans.
Well explained Ginni!. Needless to say everyone that knows the two of you are reaching out emotionally to send affirmations of well being, comfort and support. The good news is you are there to support and care for one another. I suspect the emotional reinforcement between the two of you is critical as you move down your path of life.
We wish we were closer so that this air hug would be a real hug!
🙏🏻➖DRsr Namaste ⛩
Thanks, Dean. Your message means a lot because I know how much you love Bob. Like you, we wish you were closer for some in person hugs.
Oh my goodness, I just was finally able to sit down and read this story and I am so glad that I did! Oh how I love Bob (and you of course!). I am really going to keep you both in my thoughts at this time, it is very real and scary I can only imagine! Take good care of each other, I know you already do! I hope to see you on my next visit back to California…Love you both so much!
Wow! Challenge upon challenge! Thank you for sharing…it reminds me to be deeply thankful for my good health! I’ve known Bob since 6 th grade! I am thankful he has you as his rock! Love, compassion and support is the fuel that keeps us moving forward, adding quality to our lives every day. Bless you both. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Carol
Thank you, Carol, for your very sweet message.
Thank you for that summary. When I was in the hospital you were my advocate and protector. You are wonderful.
Love to both of you.
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so helpful, thank you for sharing love you
Thank you, Evelyn💖